(Continuing a series based on Dunbar’s book, “Friends”. You can find the basic thesis here: https://jotsandscribbles.blog/2023/09/18/introduction-to-friends-by-robin-dunbar/ )
I really enjoyed this book- it is well written and full of interesting anecdotes and details. Four things that stand out to me as I reflect on the whole.
1) Friendship is a really good thing. It is something we human beings need to thrive. It is what we were made for- friendship with God and also with each other (“It is not good for man to be alone”).
2) Friendships get built over time and by shared interests and activities. You can invest in friendships (making and sustaining them) with deliberate choices, even though you cannot force a friendship with someone who does not want to be your friend.
3) Creaturely limits (time and mental capacity) affect how many true friendships we can sustain. While some can have more than others, all of us have limits on how many true friendships we can sustain. The online world (and celebrity) gives us the illusion we can connect with more people, but there are limits on the number of true mutual friendships we can continue.
4) Therefore wisdom is needed. We need wisdom to know whether we need to invest more in friendship (the lonely, the individualistic), or allow some friendships to drift back to less intense acquaintanceship (the over-connected). Should I seek to be more diverse in my friendships? Should I be looking for friendships with those less advantaged in some way? Or do I need more friends who can support me, because I am over extended in my giving within friendships?
I also found reading the book helped me to think about Jesus as our friend- what he has done to connect with us, and how he helps us.
Jots and Scribbles 