(Continuing a series based on Dunbar’s book, “Friends”. You can find the basic thesis here: https://jotsandscribbles.blog/2023/09/18/introduction-to-friends-by-robin-dunbar/ ) Robin Dunbar's definition of friendship is primarily focused on usefulness- the people who would help each other without immediate reciprocation. https://jotsandscribbles.blog/2023/09/24/the-definition-and-value-of-friendship/ C.S.Lewis in “The Four Loves” speaks of friendship that arises from a shared interest or vision of the world. … Continue reading Friendship- Dunbar vs Lewis →

(Continuing a series based on Dunbar’s book, “Friends”. You can find the basic thesis here: https://jotsandscribbles.blog/2023/09/18/introduction-to-friends-by-robin-dunbar/ ) Because of the fallenness of all humanity, there is an ongoing risk of people misusing their power and mistreating others. Whether it is physical or sexual abuse, financial exploitation, or emotional manipulation, everyone is potentially vulnerable to mistreatment, including by … Continue reading Friendships and protection from abuse →

(Continuing a series based on Dunbar’s book, “Friends”. You can find the basic thesis here: https://jotsandscribbles.blog/2023/09/18/introduction-to-friends-by-robin-dunbar/ ) Robin Dunbar’s early work was on monkeys, who literally spend time grooming each other to build and sustain friendship. But this form of bonding limits the size of the group that can be connected. Humans have ways of connecting which … Continue reading How we “bond” each other without touching →

(Continuing a series based on Dunbar’s book, “Friends”. You can find the basic thesis here: https://jotsandscribbles.blog/2023/09/18/introduction-to-friends-by-robin-dunbar/ ) If Dunbar is correct that the average person can only sustain about 150 friendships, then the quality of those relationships and the type of people you are friends with has a massive impact on your life. 150 relationships that are … Continue reading Friendship groups and class/ power →

Section 3 of the book shows how the principles of section 2 work out in a variety of case studies. The case studies helpfully show the diversity of mental illness impacts and the sorts of help and support that is needed. “two things that are said that evening stick in his memory. One is that … Continue reading Other thoughts on Mental Health and Your Church →

(Follows on from the previous notes on section one, "Understanding Mental Illness": https://jotsandscribbles.blog/2023/10/12/mental-health-and-your-church-drugs-and-talking-therapies/) What can we do? Reading this section I was struck by the helpful realism of this book. Doing nothing is not an option but doing everything isn't an option either. They focus on some key actions, but recognise that often slow progress … Continue reading Notes from “Mental Health and Your Church”: What can we do? →

More highlights from “Mental Health and your Church”. This book is an introduction to mental health for Christians and churches. Continuing to look at the first section, “Understanding mental illness”. Chapter 4 introduces us to the medications used to treat some mental illnesses. There is the usual wisdom and balance here. On the one hand … Continue reading Mental Health and Your Church: Drugs and Talking Therapies →

(I may be in danger of alienating friends who I am not good at keeping in touch with by my Dunbar posts! Maybe you are wondering where you land in my friendship hierarchy! So as a break in the series, here is the first in a shorter series on Mental Health and your Church.) This … Continue reading Mental Health and your church: Helen Thorne and Dr Steve Midgley →

Continuing a series based on Dunbar’s book, “Friends”. You can find the basic thesis here: https://jotsandscribbles.blog/2023/09/18/introduction-to-friends-by-robin-dunbar/  Time is vital for friendships. It takes time to make friendships, and it needs regular time to maintain relationships. “He found that it took about 45 hours spent in each other’s company after first meeting for someone to progress from … Continue reading The importance of time for friendship →

Continuing a series based on Dunbar's book, "Friends". You can find the basic thesis here: https://jotsandscribbles.blog/2023/09/18/introduction-to-friends-by-robin-dunbar/  “the big surprise was that when we looked at the patterns of contact before and after changing friendships, they were almost identical. It seems that when we replace someone in our social network with a new friend, we slot … Continue reading Implications for church community of people having distinct and stable friendship structures →